'Well, what are you?" said the Pigeon. "I can see you're
trying to invent something!" "I-I'm a little girl," said Alice, rather doubtfully.
She found herself at last in a beautiful garden, among the bright flower-beds and the cool fountains.
The line forms to the right. And please don't crowd. There may not beenough Pisces women for every man, but that's no reason to be unruly.You'll have to take your turn, and hope for the best.
Even without astrology, rumors have spread about the charms of a Piscesfemale. She has her negative points, to be sure, but at first glanceshe's every man's grade school valentine, with maybe just a touch of aPlayboy bunny to add some pepper. We might as well admit that themodern, emancipated woman, with her cast-iron image, has made thePisces girl's value shoot even higher. With all that freedom from thefeminine mystique clouding the air over lover's lane, the demure,pretty, helpless Neptune creature has to beat off the men with bigsticks.
It's hardly surprising that she's at a premium. The Neptune femaleseldom tries to overshadow her man, married or single. She hasn't theslightest hidden, neurotic desire to dominate him in any way. He canpull out her chair, put on her coat, whistle for the taxi, light hercigarette and talk about how wonderful he is to his heart's content.All she wants is that he should protect her and care for her. She'shappily content to lean on his big broad shoulder and let him know,with wide-eyed wonder, how strong he is, and how much she needs him inthis scary world. Just think of all those wolves out there, waiting todevour Red Riding Hoods. It's enough to make a girl get out hersmelling salts. Even if she isn't quite as Victorian as all that(though plenty of girl fish are), she'll be a charming listener to allhis troubles, and what is referred to as a good egg through everycrisis.
A Pisces woman thinks her mate, lover, boy friend, brother, father-infact, any man-can lick the whole world with one hand tied behind hisback, and it takes a surprisingly small amount of her touching faith toconvince them of the same thing, men being the way they are. And youwonder why she's so popular? The Pisces girl is a cozy, calm haven oftranquility for her proud male, far from the noise of the frame and theticker tape machines. The lights in her fish pond are soft and dim.They soothe tired eyes which have been blasted by neon and all thosesilly little figures at the stock market she couldn't understand tosave her life. (Though if it would really save her life, she wouldsharpen her pencil.)
In the winter she wears fluffy angora mittens. In the Spring she wearsdainty, full skirts. Summers will find her in a brief bikini. In thefall she'll look adorable sitting beside you at football games, withher hands in your pockets to keep them warm, and asking you the score.She is eternally feminine in all seasons. At the risk of making anunderstatement, men are drawn to her like bumblebees to a honey pot.
A short conversation with her, and a man instantly relaxes. Hepictures a glowing, crackling fire on a chilly night, or he seeshimself in a hammock on a balmy spring day, with no one to nag him. Shemakes it clear that she'll never blame him for any problems in hiscareer or any accidental mistakes. It's always someone else's fault.Not her man's. Shell never press him to get ahead faster. His own paceis perfect with her. Need I explain why the female fish makes the mostdangerous other woman of all the Sun signs? Flash! Maritimewarning: After marriage she may nudge a little. To be truthful, she maynudge a lot. In a way, it serves you right for letting yourself be soblinded by her charms. Lots of times she'll even be bitterly sarcastic,but every woman has to have some flaws, and the Pisces girl will begentle far more often than she's quarrelsome. She has to be goaded byextreme cruelty or laziness in a mate to be a shrew-and who's to say acruel or lazy husband doesn't deserve it? Not me. I'm with her.
Besides, her delectable femininity covers any minor deficiencies, andmost of the time the typical Neptune girl is soft, dreamy and womanly.Since the fish swims in both directions at once, she adapts beautifullyand quietly to conflicting situations that would turn other women intonervous Nellies. Of course, now and then, some cranky words andirritable chatter may bubble up from her normally placid stream ofthought. Occasionally a sensitive Neptune female who has suffered harshtreatment at an early age will allow bitterness to break the twosymbolic fish of her sign apart-and this can be very sad. She becomesa lonely, miserable Piscean, always swimming furiously, and meetingherself everywhere she dives down to escape-never realizing that theturning inward of her endless love and sympathy toward herself is thereal poison. Drugs and drink and false illusions hide the truth fromher and blind her to the rocks in the river that might destroy her. Butthe average Neputune girl keeps both symbolic fish joined firmlytogether in smooth action, gliding softly first back, then a littleforward, so you're never quite sure exactly which way she's headed.Pisces is said to be a deep, mysterious sea, into which all riversflow. You'll have a better chance of catching her if you know some ofher elusive secrets. What makes her swim?
First of all, she's subtle. Ask Nicky Hilton, Michael Wilding, EddieFisher and Richard Burton-each of whom married a Pisces. As a matter offact, the same Pisces. She is not only subtle, she's sometimes a bitdeceptive when she practices her art of wrapping you around her emeraldearrings.
Now, you may know a Neptune lady who wears a gingham apron and a shysmile, and who is the epitome of the devoted wife, homemaker and tendermother. You're thinking that she's neither subtle nor deceptive.Forgive my directness, but you are wrong. As for that Pisces lady youthink is different, I know her, too, or one just like her.
She's a widow who lives in the Bronx, and her name is Pauline. She alsowears a gingham apron and a shy smile -the whole setup. How can such aFannie Farmer image be subtle or deceptive? I'll tell you. First ofall, she wraps everyone around her apron strings. (She doesn't have anyemerald earrings. Next year, maybe.) She's a short woman who hasmanaged to stand up to the loss of a dear child, heartbreak, boredom,tragedy, fear, poverty, and even the confusion of sudden, very briefriches. She's coped with little boys' bruised knees, braces, lostgaloshes; a husband's sloppy Sunday cook-ins in her neat kitchen-andthe biggest mixture of in-laws-all speaking eight languages atonce-you ever saw outside the United Nations. She has faced all thismishmash of fate like Rocky Graziano. That's gentle? That's delicate?To this very moment, her two sons think of her as a charming, girlish,helpless, fluttery and soft little creature, who needs to be protected,and who can't quite understand how the lock works on the front door.
She's delightfully vague and dreamy. She doesn't know a thing abouteconomics, but she manages to dress as though she was turned out bySophie of Saks, cook frequent seven-course dinners for assortedgrandchildren, pay the rent on time, and send exquisite gifts onholidays and birthdays- all on a monthly income about the size of oneof Jack Benny's tips. She has the open love and affection of twodaughters-in-law, and an incongruous group made up of the librarian,the super, the owner of the comer delly, the fruit man, half a dozenstray cats and children, the butcher, the newsboy, and would youbelieve it, even the landlord. She may have one enemy. The man sheturned down before she married her husband. He probably joined theForeign Legion in disappointment, and now I doubt if she evenremembers his name. Heartless females, these Pisces women. Subtle anddeceptive. (But don't try to tell their neighbors that.)
Like the March winds, your Pisces girl will have many a mood. She'sterribly sentimental, and when her feelings are wounded she can crybuckets. She'll look at you so reproachfully you'll feel as if you'djust shot a small rabbit. Pisces females sometimes get the idea they'rehopelessly unequipped for the fierce battles and driving ambitionrequired to survive. Then deep depression sets in. At these timesyou'll have to tell her she's admired for her deep, mysterious wisdomand her blessed understanding by every single human she has ever gracedwith her friendship. It's usually the gospel truth. The hardest lessonshe has to learn is to overcome her timidity and her doubts. If thefears go deep, she'll shut herself off from others, then wonder whyshe's lonely. She's often afraid of imposing, pushing too hard, takingadvantage, when such thoughts are in no one's head but hers.
Now and then a Pisces girl will cover her shyness and vulnerabilitywith wisecracks, a sophisticated veneer and a frigid independentpersonality, but it's merely a cloak of protection, worn to hide heruncertainty from the prying eyes of rough people who would bruise hergenfle heart if she exposed it. I know one who pours out her real soulby writing lovely song lyrics with a secret message woven in the shadesof her soft, very private dreams. When she's not writing, she's thepicture of the brittle, callous, career woman she wants people to see.Yet, even this type of Pisces is unable to fight her Sun sign. With allher make-believe independence she waits on the curb and lets the manwhistle for the cab. There are some things one just doesn't do, as faras Neptune women are concerned; not acting like a lady in public is oneof them. She fools a lot of men who could quiet her inner fears andmake her take back her frequent claim of, "Who needs a husband? Theyonly mess up your life." Imagine a statement like that from a Piscean,who needs to belong to someone more than she needs to sleep, eat orbreathe.
A Pisces girl will give all of her heart to her children, except forthe large chunk she saves for you. She'll love them all, but the oneswho are uglier, weaker, smaller or sicker may have a slight edge withher. Only a Pisces movie star would pass up the little dimpled darlingsand adopt a tiny, crippled tot with frightened eyes. Female fish arethe greatest women in the world for understanding the shyness of smallboys and the growing pains of awkward adolescent girls. A Pisceanmother spins a thousand wispy, cobweb dreams over each bassinet. She'llsacrifice anything so her children can have what she was denied as achild. She may be too permissive. Administering discipline is difficultfor her, and she must realize that a lack of firmness is often as badas severe neglect. In a way, it is neglect, of building the smallcharacters in her care, who need firm guidance to leam to swim alone.If she's guilty of too much softness, explain it to her kindly. She'llcomprehend without bitterness, and begin to give the hairbrush aworkout. Still many Neptune mothers manage a happy medium betweendiscipline and kindness, and their offspring do them credit.
A Pisces woman will gladly let you cam the bacon and cggplant. She'llprobably prefer not to enter the brutal competition of the commercialworld, unless you desperately need her to. She had enough of that (ifshe's a typical Neptune girl) when she worked for that big, confusingcompany while she was waiting for you to rescue her. Some, not all, butsome Pisces women are a wee little bit extravagant. She may need somehelp figuring out why the bank's balance doesn't reconcile with herstubs, written in Sanskrit. Still, when an emergency forces her toadapt her champagne taste to a skim milk pocketbook, she'll manage.
She listens to the ocean, and it tells her things. In the> midst ofthe city, she still hears the waves of Neptune whispering to her Piscesheart more, perhaps, than she wants to know. Don't forget her birthdayor your anniversary or the day you proposed. She won't. I'll alwaysremember the Pisces friend I went to school with in West Virginia. Shewas tiny, with long, dark hair and those strange Neptune lights in hergreenish brown eyes. She married (among several other men) a bigfootball star; it was a totally unexpected elopement. I remember whenshe asked him why he proposed. She was curious. "Well," he told her,"it was the funniest thing, Shorty. I didn't have the slightest idea ofproposing that day. We were in the park, near the pool. The chicks whowere lying around getting a tan had wet, stringy hair from swimming,and they looked all hot and sweaty on the benches. You were sittingthere under that tree in a white lace dress, and you looked so cool anddifferent from the others. You looked like-well, I guess you sortalooked like a girl." That's the subtle secret of the Pisces woman.Whether she follows Neptune's call as a dedicated nun in a convent oras a sultry songstress in a noisy nightclub-she's a girl. All girl. Onehundred percent.